things aren't quite lining up.

[Kelsey Linduff]

Almost all of the questions over the last week or so have brought me back to another questions...

Do I live like I really believe that which I say is true?

Unfortunately, if I'm honest about it, the answer is 'no' more times than I would like to admit. I know that my heart has been set free, but I don't always live like I really believe it. I say that I know I am forgiven and believe guilt has no place in the Kingdom, but I still let it keep me from fully living the life I was created for. I believe that even the small things should be done with excellence and if we are faithful with those things God will give us more, but I still slack off with some of the everyday opportunities. I say I believe what God says is true, but sometimes I keep waiting on Him for just one more sign to confirm it. And the list goes on...

In a Reflex group this week, I was telling someone that part of me would be interested to know what my family and friends would say is the driving force in my life and part of me is scared of their answer. I don't know that the words of my mouth and the thoughts in heart are fully lining up with my actions. And I'm really challenged by that.

I want to live as if I really believe that which I say is true. This season, I am praying for the courage to live differently.

[Geri]

Jennifer, you have pinpointed something that may put you at an advantage in the Kingdom, whether you believe me or not. If you run out of your own strength a lot, you are in the best place to operate in the strength of Jesus in you. I know you have heard the verses like, "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the World," and the teachings of Paul where he talks about all of his strengths and positive things being "counted as loss" because of their lack of value when involved with the cause of Christ. God can use us best when we are surrendered to Him, and often He can work through us best, then, when we are totally out of our comfort zone, because we cannot rely on our own strength and knowledge to sustain us. Remember, everything we need, we already have in Christ.
Hope you are well! It was good seeing you last weekend! :-)

[Jennifer Connor]

As I type this, I am alone at home accomplishing nothing, while you are flying off to other countries and doing something with your life. You are a high achiever. You are already ahead of many of us in terms of living what you believe. Personally, I'm tired of being challenged to try harder. I want to give up all the time because I am one of those people who is incapable of doing much of anything in my own strength. You should be happy that you have been given good physical and mental health, an upbeat personality and an inner strength that not everyone has. Trust me, you are already living differently.